super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
