ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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