Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
