No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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