I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We named our party play list daddy issues
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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