You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
