i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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