I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
