4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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