So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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