So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
