I think my vagina is haunted
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
