She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
