We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
