its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
