Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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