It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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