You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
