I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
