Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
