can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
