Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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