So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
