im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
