We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
