My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
bring money and cleavage
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
