I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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