Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
