Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
