Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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