so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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