Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
