there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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