Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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