i don't like sucking hair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Randomize
