I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
