I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
