he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This house was built for laser tag.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
