I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize