omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
