I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
