lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's just like the Real World with babies
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
