Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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