dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
