pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
