i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
