Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
