At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
