its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
