I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
