Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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