My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Buhtt sex?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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