quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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