I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
