I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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