I love black thongs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wear drunk well.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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