They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
