p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize