So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
