dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
