K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
