i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
