Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize