but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't think brook has ever known best
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
