every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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