people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
