Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
