I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
